by Sabra Schirm

“A Monumental Waste of Time” is the only way to describe George Clooney’s latest

cinematic embarrassment. Based on actual events, The Monuments Men tells the story of

the unlikely platoon of heroes tasked with saving priceless, cultural treasures from the

Nazis. Written and directed by George Clooney, The Monuments Men manages to reduce

this interesting, mostly ignored aspect of art history and turn it into a farce. Starring

George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman and Cate Blanchett, this film

gives absolutely zero bang for its buck, leaving the audience feeling flatter than the story.

Coming into this film as both a history and art enthusiast, it is hard to express how

disappointing this film is. Clooney, without even realizing it, has managed to strip away

all that is interesting and dramatic in this story and reduce it to trite comedy shlock that

isn’t actually that funny. Though the cast is impressive, they seem to sleepwalk through

most of the picture, leaving a foul taste in the mouth of the audience forced to sit and be

witness to this travesty of a film.

Moments that are meant to be touching, fall short – sometimes insultingly so.

The Monuments Men, billed as an action drama, is lacking both action and drama.

Even the brief moments of comedy, which could have been a huge redeeming point with

its cast of comedic actors, feels forced. Clooney, in a stunning show of egotism, seems to

have banked on his famous face and his famously cheeky persona to sell his film. In

doing so, he has failed to realize that a famous face alone does not make a good movie.

John Hayward of breitbart.com describes The Monuments Men as “one of the

most ill-conceived Hollywood films ever,” and it is very hard to disagree with him.

Clooney, though a passable actor, is clearly not director material, as he shows a very real

lack of what makes a story compelling by removing every single moment of interest in

favor of awkwardly bad comedy and contrived dialogue.

The saddest part of this all, though, is not Clooney’s failure as a director, or a

storyteller. The saddest part is that he has taken what is genuinely interesting and

culturally important art and WWII history and reduced it to a bad “dramady.”

Could The Monuments Men have done better with a better director and

screenwriter? Most definitely. With the right writer and director, this film could have

been more than the feeble jokes and scraps of history that it turned out to be.

With all this in mind, I give the following recommendation: If you are a fan of

history, a lover of art, or a fan of any of the actors or actresses in the film, do yourself a

favor. Do not see this. The Monuments Men will break your heart, but not in the way the

director intended. You’d be better served watching Saving Private Ryan, if you like war

movies, or Inglorious Basterds, if you like dark comedies with a twist of “revenge porn.”

I give this movie a pathetic ½ star out of 10…and that is being generous.