Hannah Martin

CNMS Major

Large Orange Troll Doll Bullies Smaller More Vulnerable Jeb!

Angry troll doll trump had recently attacked Jeb Bush the other day, saying that Jeb’s mom buys his clothes from Wal-Mart. “He just keeps picking on me, and making fun of me.” Said Jeb when we found him kicking rocks into the river. “I just want everyone to like me, I’m really cool if you get to know me more.” He said, as he tried to skip a rock in the water. The Broccolis wanted to question Trump but he was too busy spitting in Jeb’s sandwiches while he was gone. 

Lost Song by late David Bowie Found

Recently an unseen song had been found in the late Bowies home. It was on a crumpled up McDonald’s napkin. The words on the napkin were “Space doggy dog, you fly so high / I bet you can’t wait to touch the sky / fly fly fly.” We assume this was an earlier rendition of Bowie’s song Space Oddity. Accompanying the lyrics was a small drawing of a dog with a space helmet on.