I’ve heard this sentence for years, and every time I feel like my soul is being crushed just a little bit more. Emetophobia is the intense fear of vomiting. This may sound like something everyone has, but not everyone’s life revolves around the thought of throwing up. I truly believe it is one of the most debilitating phobias to ever exist.

Yes, nobody likes throwing up, but most don’t worry about it after an illness has passed. With emetophobia, you are constantly worried about vomiting and this anxiety impedes on your day to day life. In my case, my phobia has stopped me from leaving my house other than for school for about a decade. It has also stopped me from eating altogether during its most intense times.

Most, if not all, cases of emetophobia happen after someone has a negative experience with vomiting, like with an illness such as food poisoning, or after vomiting in public. My emetophobia started when I was playing over at my cousins house when I was about nine years old. I remember eating something spicy for lunch and I got a stomach ache. I got so scared that I was going to throw up that I went home early that day and camped in the bathroom for the rest of it. Ever since then I have had a horrible fear whenever I feel sick. 

Emetophobiais closely related to a fear of losing control. It tends to co-exist with anxiety disorders and sometimes OCD. Sometimes OCD can cause emetophobia, becoming an obsession. On the other hand, sometimes emetophobia can cause OCD, as you develop rituals to ease your mind and “prevent” throwing up. I would often perform rituals to alleviate my fear. I consider myself extremely lucky that I’ve gotten better before I could develop those OCD-like tendencies.

Treating Emetophobia requires using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) methods such as exposure therapy. To an extent, exposure therapy can be done on your own through small doses. It can evolve anything from eating new foods or eating in public if those make you anxious. However, for anything intense I recommend going to someone who specializes in exposure therapy, as too much too fast can make a phobia worse. I started managing very well after taking anxiety medication, and even without emetophobia-related treatments I am so much better. That doesn’t mean I’m cured though. It takes a mixture of these treatments to really help.

I am no professional, I just want to share what I’ve learned and my experiences with this specific phobia. If you think you have emetophobia and you want to do something about it, please talk to a psychologist or therapist, one who specializes in exposure therapy may be able to help.  Remember that a phobia doesn’t have to rule your life, with patience and strength, you can overcome anything.

If anyone would like to talk to others regarding this phobia, there are emetophobia subreddits and discord servers with people who are there to support you.