By Johnny Morton

At the age of 10, I remember being forced in my Sunday’s best clothes (which were too stiff and uncomfortable) and sitting with my grandmother in St. Dominic’s Roman Catholic Church. I would daydream, and couldn’t wait to get out of there. I was bored, fidgeting, and couldn’t stand the barely lit room, the odd half-spoken/half-sung passages and the eerie, earthy incense smell. I had to be quiet and pretend to pray.

A year later, I wasn’t forced to go anymore. In years to come, I remember some friends of mine couldn’t always play or hang out on the weekends because they were going with their church group on a grand camping trip or to Funtown. Sometimes my friends would be talking about a huge picnic fun day at their church or a potluck with all this great food! Wait… what? Where is this great place and how do I get in?? I never did end up getting in, though I spent a few jealous weekends wishing I had. I wanted to be part of something big, part of a group of people who did fun things. Their church seemed nothing like my nana’s stiff, dark, smelly church. Years later, come to find out, one of the church leaders, one of the fun, field-trip-organizing, pot-luck-supper-planning church leaders, was called out and accused of molesting some of those boys… a few of whom were my buddies. This is how religion went for me my entire life, and it still does today at age 40.

There are many practicing religions in America today. I don’t know the ins and outs of every denomination. In fact, I never truly belonged to a single one; however, I have witnessed and somewhat partaken in some religious endeavors trying to find myself through finding God or a higher power. Religion is like a swinging door in America: It opens up and exposes you to many great things, but it also can swing back hard, knocking you down.

Religion has had (and still does have) many positive influences on American society. Religion gives one hope. Religion gives one faith. When all seems lost in the world and one feels utterly alone, most religions will welcome one with open arms and give one a feeling of love, belonging, support and community. There are so many great religious groups and churches that bring communities together and help victims of all sorts through difficult times. Whether a family whose home has been blown away in a tornado, or a single mom who can’t afford Christmas gifts for her children, or orphaned children whose parents died in a plane crash, so on and so on, many religious factors have come to the aid of many Americans, and have worked “miracles.” Churches have gone above and beyond being ethical and have had so many wonderful and numerous positive influences on so many in this great nation — and still do, on a day-to-day basis!
Here is where the “religious door” swings full force and slams you from behind: Many religious factors leave no room for diversity. Certain religious groups have publicly called out, shamed and protested against anyone who does not follow that religion perfectly, or may be a little different, or have somewhat different views or ideas than said religion. There is no “wiggle room” in one’s moral beliefs if those beliefs waver even just a bit. Certain religious groups have even turned to violent protests or violent acts against those who do not conform or fit with that religion’s agenda. Not only do they shun outsiders and turn to violence, certain religious groups, particularly the Roman Catholic faction, have been known for sexual abuse against young ones for years. These acts are unethical and definitely have negative impacts in America.

I can personally say I have experienced both the positive and the negative when it comes to religion. I was welcomed with open arms when I was at a very low point in my life. I met a bunch of great people who helped me out immensely, and I felt part of something special. Another time, I was told I was going straight to Hell because of my sexuality and unless I changed who I was and asked God for forgiveness, there was no hope for me. When it comes to religion, I live my life singing REM’s song “Losing my Religion.” I don’t know if I will ever find the right fit for me when it comes to joining any religious denomination, but for now, I pray and talk to God on my own terms, and take and make positive influences and changes. That is my religion.