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Aliens Built the Pyramids

by Hayley Deitemeyer

There is a meme floating around the vast unknowns of the internet which depicts a man with brown frazzled hair, crazed eyes and the word “ALIENS” plastered in bold above his head. This man’s name is Giorgio A. Tsoukalos and he is a researcher who often appears on National Geographics show Ancient Aliens. He, along with many others, believe aliens have visited us before and we are just the unlucky generation which has not come in contact with them yet. At least that we know of; who knows what secrets are harbored in Area 51. 

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There are many theories, but the most promising theory goes along the lines of this: aliens built the pyramids of Giza as a device to resurrect souls into higher extraterrestrial beings. It’s pretty freaky stuff, but coming from a generation of humans where fixing a road seems to be an incomprehensible task, alien construction workers don’t seem too far fetched. 

Prehistoric Egypt is a time which is clouded with mystery. There were pharaohs,  mummies, and secret tombs which held treasure so great it could make Bill Gates cry. On the walls of their immaculate structures was a language of pictures that depicted stories of power, wealth and… aliens. Hieroglyphics depicted flying machines and small beings with bulbous, deformed heads. Much like the crystal skulls found in Indiana Jones. 

These hieroglyphics are just the beginning of the bizarre evidence of others. The pyramids were built with exact mathematical precision which was unattainable to people of this time. If one were to place the Orion constellation over a birds-eye view of the pyramids, they would find that the placement and size of the structures on the plateau of Giza perfectly replicates the belt of Orion. The three pyramids, which vary in size, mimic the brightness and size of the stars perfectly. 

The Pyramid of Giza also points to true magnetic north, but the technology of that time had not yet included the compass or even recognized cardinal direction. For each solstice, there are also strange phenomena which occur on the Plateau of Giza. During the summer and winter solstice, the sun sets perfectly in between the two pyramids when viewed from the Sphinx. During the Spring and Autumn Solstice, we find that the Great Pyramid is not actually 4 sides as previously believed. From ariel view and only on these days we can see that the Great Pyramid has 8 sides which makes it unique from every other pyramid in the world. 

There was no possible way for them to have taken the alignment of stars, direction or the calendar year into account when building these structures as these findings were not yet discovered and wouldn’t be for thousands of years. So what does all this mean? It either means the Egyptians were the most technologically advanced civilization to ever walk the earth until modern times or aliens.

By now, we would have uncovered documentation suggesting that the Egyptians had it all figured out. But we haven’t, because there is none. We have though, uncovered suggestions of extraterrestrial life forms helping them out. Remember those hieroglyphics mentioned before? People believe these hieroglyphics suggest that during these times Egyptians and aliens intermingled as one. 

The aliens introduced the human race to new tools to help align our cosmic vibration and reach a form of enlightenment that could only be reached when the stars aligned with the pyramids. This, along with the help of alien technology would allow Egyptians to transcend and live among the stars. 

Basically, the aliens were making more aliens out of humans and in return, we received help from their advanced technology. It was a win-win situation until something happened and the aliens decided to disappear never to be seen again. Which was so fucking rude; they gave us a taste of the sweet life, abducted our people and then left us for greener pastures. No wonder we have societal abandonment issues.

Categories: Calendar

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