The Relationship and Etiquette Column
Hello everyone, as you know I’m one of the new writers, Lucy, and I have two questions that I have been given to answer.
“I’m working a campus job, which means that it’s lenient around my schoolwork and school schedule. However, the pay sucks! Should I find some place downtown to work, where I’ll be making a few extra bucks an hour, or should I keep this job so that I don’t have to worry about finding time to do schoolwork?” – Underpaid
Dear Underpaid, I understand your worry about money but you have to ask yourself if you have time to work around your classes and your schoolwork. School should always come first in my books because if you’re put under too much pressure and stress from working, it could have a big impact on your grades. But it depends on the transportation. If you have a car, it might not cost that much but if you have to get downtown on a bus, is that going to cost money? You could definitely do better if you wanted but there are probably good jobs right outside of your school with help wanted signs. Look around some more for closer jobs outside of your campus just so if you are worried about schoolwork and your schedule, you will be close by to just go back to your dorm. I hope this helps with what you decide to do.
The second question that I got from someone, “Dear Lucy, can you advise me on the best techniques for kissing?” – anonymous
As it happens, one of your classmates has sent some advice, so I will quote from that letter.
“Bear with me. What will be here is a guide list for people that need help with kissing. This is not a guide specifically for women or me, it’s for anyone who wants a few tips about giving a good kiss.
But first, one of the basic rules of kissing before I tell you the guide list is this: when the first kiss is done, please leave the face dry. No one wants to be kissed by a dog. Use your tongue on the interior of the mouth, and your lips on the exterior. I mean, sure, once our relationship has advanced a bit, we can talk about your mouth, but until then you should just stick to the basics of kissing. Here is how to kiss step by step:
First, start gently. The lips are highly sensitive, in fact, they are an erogenous zone. Erogenous zones are so classified because they have such a large number of nerve endings. So, there is actually no need for intense pressure, the need is for a delicate touch.
Two, kiss the exterior of the mouth before jamming your tongue in. Putting your tongue into someone else’s mouth is a bit invasive, even if it happens a lot. It’s something you build up to, over a few minutes. Start around the mouth area, and on the lips with soft, gentle, dry kisses. Use this as a time of discovery, your partner will likely respond in kind. Allow yourself to roam to the ears, or the neck, explore a little, gently and with caution. Watch, or feel for cues. If your partner backs away a little, it could be a ticklish, or a sensitive area. Respond accordingly! When someone backs away a little, that is a cue, it means, not there, not now.
Three, If things move to the next level, it’s time to moisten your lips a little, and by kissing your partners lips gently, you’ll be moistening theirs, too. It’s a very sensual thing to receive, one’s lips moistened slightly by another’s, and that ability to have a short smooth glide across mouths. This is not a dramatic movement, we’re not motorboating here. It’s a soft back and forth, a movement of not much more than a quarter of an inch. Not too much repetition, just once or twice. Use the tip of your tongue to moisten as needed.
Four, explore your partner’s lips in between kisses, with just the tip of your tongue. The very middle of the top lip is the most packed with nerve endings, spend some time there (30 seconds), kiss a bit, then explore another area, the corners, the bottom lick.
Five. Now, every once in a while, a kiss can have a short inhale…I hesitate to use the word suck. But this is an inhale, it will come naturally, because by now your whole body should be screaming for more.
And, six. This last step might not be your last step, but it’s the last piece of advice I want to offer. After number five, you might be ready to do some inner mouth exploring with your tongue. Instead of telling you what to do, I will tell you what NOT to do. DON’T attempt to jam your tongue down anyone’s throat. There should be no need to ‘open wide’ as the dentist says. DON’T run your tongue around like a vacuum cleaner or a paintbrush. Gentle, intermittent probing, the kind of tongue that says, “oh hey, wanna play?” rather than, “Move over, let me in.”
I hope you enjoyed one of your fellow students’ guide list about kissing. I know I sure have! Good luck to all you people that are looking for love or want to improve. Remember, if you want to submit something to my column, Lucy’s Two Cents, just click on Rachel Guthrie’s name in the box and you can tell her your question and if you want a nickname tell her that as well.
Categories: Arts & Culture